February 11, 2008Patron Saint Of Assholes & Frisbees
She said God sent me to her because He knew she'd need me. I agreed to
clean her house, write out checks, babysit her two children during her
appointments (like this Friday), run errands, check on her best friend
(my 84 year-old neighbor) from time to time (because her own children
don't) and whatever else she may need. I told her it was no problem and
she insisted on paying me. I would've done it for free. I mean, it's
not like she broke her leg or anything. The woman had her chest cracked
a few weeks ago so that doctors could do 5 bypasses (which I've never
heard of) and she's only been home for about a week now with another 6
months of recovery ahead of her. As if that weren't bad enough they had
to open her up again shortly after the surgery because she was bleeding
internally and they couldn't tell where it was coming from. But they
got it all sorted out and she's fine now (or as fine as one can be
after having their breastbone sawed and spread apart. *shudder*) with
minimal discomfort. She can't do a whole lot of anything without
getting winded and I noticed today that she gets short of breath just
talking. So I agreed to help her out when and where I could. She's a
great lady and she's got her hands full with an epileptic daughter, a
mildly autistic son and a husband who's on the road driving truck 5-6
days a week. She teared up when she told me that God had sent me to
her. All I could do was smile and hope she didn't see the bewilderment
in my eyes because I was at a loss as to what to say. How do you
respond to that? Do you just nod and say, "Yep, the old codger finally
go SOMETHING right." Could just be me but that sounds a bit assholey. A
little while after I left I got teased about it. "What are you, like
the Fairview Patron Saint Of The Sick And Elderly? You're going to
spend your days running around rescuing and helping sick and hurt
puppies now? Well, maybe not animals, they don't seem to like your
satanic ass." I had to wonder just how big an asshole I've become that
helping out a neighbor (one who didn't irritate me) would become kind
of a joke to others around me. But then I had to think: well, if I
weren't as big an asshole as I am then who knows how many dirtbags
would be going out of their way to take advantage of my goodwill. My
natural-born and well-cultivated attitude (problem) automatically weeds
out all those lazy bastards and then enables me to help out those who
really need it. So being an asshole really isn't such a bad thing. To
me. It's a bad thing to those who make it on The List, though.
To be continued...
Posted on 02/11/2008 2:01 PM Comments (0)
January 22, 2008Just A Dream Once a wintery kiss Ignited a blazing dream Beneath the ice-chipped stars Your passion set me free.
Posted on 01/22/2008 5:47 PM Comments (0)
January 21, 2008If Only I Could Love You, Would I?
Her beauty was enticing, her smile infectious. Her eyes made you warm inside but if you looked carefully, looked deep into those dark portals, you could see the hollow core that kept her cold. No amount of kisses or warm embraces could make the cold go away but it didn't stop her from trying. She yearned for the fire that would banish the ice but no one she met possessed that spark. Oh, how I longed to cure the sickness in her. How I wanted to be the one to hold her and make her warm again; to banish the pain and make her laugh from the heart. But I was afraid to try. Not that I would fail but that I would succeed. If I were successful how could I tell her that I didn't love her? How could I tell her that I couldn't? For my love, what little there is, was not meant for her or any other like her? The love she seeks I cannot give. For that reason alone I cannot try. I cannot break her heart when I only meant to help heal her. So I stand alone in the shadows to watch the beautiful facade dance and glimmer as a mirage in the distance and all the pathetic blind fools leap through hoops of fire and ice for her affection and all falling flat on their faces. She must suffer because I fear the love I cannot return. I fear my own cowardice.
Posted on 01/21/2008 2:48 PM Comments (0)
January 2, 2008If You Love Jeff Dunham (Or Peanut)
Then help Dunham & Co. win Comedy Central's Stand-Up Showdown.
Posted on 01/02/2008 5:18 PM Comments (0)
December 31, 2007Happy New Year!
Many blessings to you and yours
in the coming
year.
 glitter-graphics.com  glitter-graphics.com  glitter-graphics.com
Posted on 12/31/2007 5:37 PM Comments (2)
December 17, 2007To Sum It Up"Unfair
though life may be, we must accept the cards fate has dealt us, and try
to do the best we can." I don't think I need to further elaborate on
this, do I? I would certainly hope not.
Posted on 12/17/2007 4:12 PM Comments (1)
December 7, 2007One Of Those Days
I went to Sonic and ordered a large Java Chiller with an espresso shot
(called a Sonic Boom. I know, I thought that was pretty cute, too) and they gave it to me in a tall ass cup with a short ass straw. Seriously, take a sip, then the straw drops down beneath the dome lid and then I had to fish it out. Every. Damn. Time. So, yeah, today was one of those days.
Posted on 12/07/2007 1:03 PM Comments (1)
December 4, 2007Holy Crap! Did You See That?!
Is it just me or is this the one time of year where the common American
citizen is given free license to behave like an ill-mannered child in a
toy store? The only time of year I see grown ass adults acting like
spoiled rotten kids in need of a thorough beating over a damn parking
space, over some crap item that's almost out of stock (that will no
doubt end up in the back of someone's closet or in the Donation Bin at
some local charity before the week is out) or trying to rip off a store
by claiming that what they picked up is in fact on sale at 50-75% off.
Lies, violence, vicious insults, assaults with shopping carts, etc.
Most of these done by women, no less, with their poor, sappy, broken
husbands in tow wearing their purse. Now, don't get me wrong, I really
enjoy this time of year (since having my kids) but I make a fucking
point not to go shopping after the second week in December. Seriously,
even if my husband were stupid and/or crazy there's no way in hell he
could drag me out of the house and to any town on a weekend unless we
were going to lunch and a movie and even that's asking a bit much
considering the traffic. This is the one time of year when people
forget about being kind and decent and start giving other drivers the
finger and screaming obscenities out the window with young children in
the cars around them. What the hell is it about this time of year that
really brings out the worst in them? Now I've seen a lot of kindness
and decency around here (Toys For Tots done by Marines, people getting
an Angel off the tree in Wal Mart, various toy drives, etc.) but an .87
donation in the Salvation Army bucket does not give anyone the right to
behave in an extremely uncivilized manner and I'm a damn heathen, I
know uncivilized and even I don't behave like that.
So to everyone that must do their Christmas shopping at the last minute (financial situation, time constraints) please make the effort to be patient, let the over stressed grandmother behind you have that parking space and walk the few extra hundred yards to the door, smile and hold the door for someone, take your time getting to the register, bring a book in your purse/bag for those long lines at said register, do what you can not to be a dick because I happen to know that some people have no problem with injuring another shopper over the barest hint of a slight, real or imagined (I've seen it.) Stay safe, smile and thank whichever deity you pray to that this time of year only comes once in 12 whole freaking months. Happy Holidays to people I knew back in the day and people who are complete strangers who somehow found their way to my page. Many blessings to you all.
Posted on 12/04/2007 10:19 AM Comments (1)
December 3, 2007Who Do I Gotta Hurt To Feel Better?
Have you ever heard someone say that they were so pissed they could
spit nails? Right now, I'm so pissed I could take those nails and drive
them right through someone's fucking eyes and take pleasure in their
screams of agony. Why? Because I just spent a fucking hour and a half
writing a post on my Xanga site and guess what happened? I went to save
and post and when I did I got a blank screen with the words:
"Xanga is currently down for maintenance. We will return shortly. Thanks!" You know how when you write something and you work on it awhile and shit just comes together for you? You get into that groove that's so fucking smooth you feel as if you could write forever (or at least until the jittery caffeine high wears off) and what comes from your fingers is pure magic, it's bliss, it's truth and fiction and it swirls around in this delightfully brilliant vortex that can't be replicated no matter how hard you try and you know that it'll be another long while before you have a moment like that again. Kind of like that awesome night of mind blowing sex you had that was so perfect that you knew that God, in his pervy way, was smiling down on you and blessing you with orgasm after orgasm and although it was beyond great, beyond perfect you've never had a night like that since? Yeah, me neither, but I figure someone out there must be able to relate to that one. Well, tonight I had a moment like that and it just so happened that fucking Xanga decided to pick that time, without notice it seems, to shut down for fucking maintenance. What the hell?! FUCK!!!! I can't get that back. I'll still try but I know I won't be able to bring it together like that again. At least not for that piece. What really irritates the piss out of me is that I paid for fucking Premium last night and this is the first thing Xanga does to me, loses my fucking brilliant post. *sigh!* Fucking suuuuuucks. So instead of having your minds blown by what I had written before you now had to sit through this little bitchfest and yes, it was little. You should see me when I forget the bottle of bleach in the shopping cart in the middle of the Wal Mart parking lot and then don't realize it until after I get home. Talk about a bitchfest. Hell, I could just about break my own knee caps with a hammer. So, there you go. Thanks for sitting through this one with me and I apologize for wasting your time. I don't really mean that but tomorrow I might almost feel bad enough to kind of apologize. Maybe.
Posted on 12/03/2007 8:27 PM Comments (2)
November 30, 2007It Can Always Be Better
Then again, it can always be much, much worse so one shouldn't complain. But sometimes it's really hard to remember that.
Posted on 11/30/2007 8:03 PM Comments (2)
November 24, 2007Pointless. Or Is It?
He
said eternity was too long, that he'd trade forever for a single night
with me. What the fuck kind of shit is that? Did he really think that
if he phrased it in that way it'd sound 'romantic' or something? As if
giving me a glossy version of "let's just fuck and go our separate
ways" was going to make me go, "Ok, when, where and how?" You know,
I've always said that I prefer the straightforward to the bullshit
beating-around-the-bush crap but that's just lazy, juvenile and
incredibly stupid. The only kind of woman who would go for that is a
hooker and only if she gets her money up front. Even a basic
run-of-the-mill whore would insist you buy her a drink first. I mean,
c'mon, aren't you supposed to be an adult? Fucking act like it. And you
certainly don't have the right to get pissy and run your mouth like a
bitch when I tell your disrespectful ass to fuck off. What the hell did
you expect me to do, roll my ass over and say have at it? You're
fucking stupid and pricks like you need to be castrated. Western
civilization could use a few more eunuchs, you can trust me on that.
Long story short, he called me a bitch, a cocktease and a wetback
whore. So I broke his nose. But only a little. The way he was screaming
you'd think I cut the damn thing off. Whiner. Well, the fucking twat
stepped over the line. I don't give a damn what I'm called, I've heard
it all and most from my own mother but there are two surefire ways to
irritate me to violence: call me a whore or refer to me as a mexican.
I'm an Asshole and on the rare occasion I can be a Fucking Asshole.
I've never been promiscuous, I've never felt the need to be since sex
means almost nothing to me but a good way to waste my time on something
completely useless and unproductive. I don't have a problem with
mexicans in general except for those 30 and 40 year old dirtbags that
follow 12 year old girls to and from school (3 or 4 in a single
vehicle) and try to get them into the car with them. I speak from
personal experience and it wasn't a single occasion. It happened many,
many times until I was deemed to old to be of any interest. My issue
has always been people mistaking me for mexican and then getting
irritated with ME because I don't speak spanish, as if I sold out or
something. What the hell is that about? I tell them I'm Native and they
accuse me of lying as if I'd be ashamed to be something other than what
I am. Most people think I'm mexican and I have no problem with that, it
bothers me when they insist I am or give me an attitude because I
correct them. I'm highly proud of my heritage, I have nothing to be
ashamed of and I won't pretend to be something I'm not just to get
along with other people. If others have a problem guess what? It's
their problem. I don't spend my life giving a fuck what other people
think of me. Why should I? What makes anyone else important enough for
me to be worried about what they think of me? So that cunt called me a
wetback whore and I broke his nose. So what'd he say next? "Crazy
bitch." Of course, the fucker antagonizes and disrespects me and when I
establish my dominance and stand up for myself I'm not considered a
strong woman who doesn't take shit from anyone, I'm a "crazy bitch."
And THIS is what's out there in the 'dating world?' Hell, I wasn't even
trying to hook up with anyone, I was just trying to enjoy my drink and
have a good time with my friends in what I assumed was a safe setting
and he came over and started shit with me. He started it, I finished
it. And that's where the problem lies. He was the one lying flat on his back and bleeding, not me.
So what was the point of this post? It's going to depend on how you choose to interpret it. If you choose to at all. To be continued. Perhaps.
Posted on 11/24/2007 6:12 PM Comments (3)
November 21, 2007A Few Good LaughsIs sex better than drugs? It depends on the pusher. Unknown The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it. Woody Allen Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck. Lewis Grizzard It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point. Will Durst Some are born to greatness, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust within them. Hal Lee Luyah Warning signs that your lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address. Matt Groening It is a gentleman's first duty to remember in the morning who it was he took to bed with him. Dorothy L. Sayers I would never go to bed with a man who had so little regard for my husband. From a novel by Dan Greenburg After making love I said to the girl, "Was it good for you, too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody." Garry Shandling In sex as in banking there is a penalty for early withdrawal. Cynthia Nelms Sex after ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. George Burns
Posted on 11/21/2007 2:58 PM Comments (3)
November 17, 2007Get That Hamster RunningIllegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.--Robert Orden Sex is dirty only when it's done right.--Woody Allen I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.--Chico Marx A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.--Redd Foxx There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.--Robert Orben One good thing about being a man is that men don't have to talk to each other.--Peter Cocotas Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.--Timothy Leary Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.--Unknown Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.--Unknown Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.--Unknown I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead-not sick, not wounded-dead.--Woody Allen You can find your way across the country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.--Charles Kuralt In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.--Jose Simon My toughest fight was with my first wife.--Muhammad Ali Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.--David Frost Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.--Abba Eban What luck for rulers that men do not think.--Adolf Hitler It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.--Voltaire All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.--Fran Lebowitz No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.--W.S. Gilbert
Posted on 11/17/2007 7:09 PM Comments (4)
November 5, 2007Want To Know What Irritates Me?
Knowing that the time I spent watching Planet Terror can never be refunded.
*sigh* Suuuuuuuuuuuuucked!!!! Seriously, save your money. Rose McGowan doesn't even really get naked. No really, that might've saved the movie. For about a minute. It was so awful I actually sat there on my couch in mental anguish because it sucked that badly. And my dumb ass kept on watching, hoping that it would get better. It didn't. If you haven't seen it yet, save your money. Trust me on this.
Posted on 11/05/2007 5:40 PM Comments (5)
October 31, 2007Remember This & Live ItOn life's journey
Faith is nourishment, Virtuous deeds are a shelter, Wisdom is the light by day and Right mindfulness is the protection by night. If a man lives a pure life nothing can destroy him; If he has conquered greed nothing can limit his freedom. Buddha
Posted on 10/31/2007 5:44 PM Comments (1)
October 25, 2007If OnlyKeep inflating those hollowed out dreams And that fractured heart of yours will tumble into pieces Down into that hell you created With the tears of the innocent And the now-corrupted love of the one Who held you in the dark And chased away the Shadows. Swallow the bitterness that is the aftertaste Of pride which has long been digested And absorbed into the sickening cells of your blood To be later drunk by those demons You so willingly worshipped for just a moment That passed all too quickly And your sacrifice that will last an eternity While your soul screams and shrieks Beneath the subbasement of hell. The one you destroyed without a second thought. The one who walked to the ends of the earth on bloody feet. The one who wept silver daggers from her eyes. The one who allowed her soul to be corrupted just to save yours. If only she knew. If only she had been told. If only love hadn't prevented her from seeing the path she was walking. If only she could take it all back. She would still make all the same choices. For him.
Posted on 10/25/2007 6:24 PM Comments (3)
October 22, 2007Support The Parts We All LoveOctober is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Check out this very short article and order a great t-shirt (or two) designed by two high school students.
Posted on 10/22/2007 4:40 PM Comments (0)
October 18, 2007Wow
It's hard to believe that I've had a place here on Buzznet for two years now. Two years this month that I've met some incredible, artistic, honest, loving and lovable people. People who've inspired me and have taken my breath away on so many different occasions. People who've given a damn about my existence. It's just an amazing thing to be part of this wheel and to be able to take small glimpses into other people's worlds. To have the privilege of witnessing their triumphs, losses, dreams and thoughts. It's mind blowing. Thank you all who've made me feel special if only for a moment and those of you who've encouraged and, in some small way, loved me for whatever reason, you will always have a place in my heart. Much love and many, many blessings to you all. Thank you.
Posted on 10/18/2007 4:57 PM Comments (6)
October 15, 2007Read Into It What You Will
I told her to stop crying, the tears will stain. She lifted her head to
look at me and said, "Tears don't stain," as if what I said was just the most stupid thing she'd ever heard of. I told her, "Of course they do. Long after you stop crying, after the redness has left your eyes and your nose is no longer swollen people will know that you cried because of the stains on your cheeks. They'll see the tracks plain as day and they'll pity you. Do you want that? Their pity no matter how well-meaning?" She sniffed and shook her head, her long bangs obscuring her face. She rested her head against my shoulder and I sat there, letting her borrow my strength. Her whole world had recently walked out the door without so much as a "Sorry babe, but you know how it is. It was fun while it lasted, right?" Broken and tired I let her rest while her tears dried and she valiantly tried to choke back her sobs. It was all I could do for her. She was alone in the dark, day after day. I picked her up off the floor, flicked the feral dust bunnies off of her and held her head up for her until she found the strength to carry on without me. And so it has always been for us, the two of us surviving the darkness and the pain. When she was broken I carried her until she mended. When she was alone I told her stories and shared memories of Never Was. And when she was all alone in the dark watching the Shadows cavort across the ceiling I was nearby with a silver dagger in my hand, waiting for one of them to step out of line. And so it has always been and I suspect always will be for as long as she resides in this world she will always have the strength to survive as long as I remain in mine.
Posted on 10/15/2007 6:23 PM Comments (1)
October 13, 2007The Moment Of Truth
You
open your arms and fold me into your embrace. I bury my face into your
chest and cry the jagged bits of my broken heart into your shirt as you
rest your chin on my head. You try to absorb my pain but it's mine to
carry and it's a heavy load. You hold me and say nothing. I weep and
you feel the agony tearing me apart inside. All the pain of my world is
spilling over but you continue to hold me in your arms, letting me know
that your strength is mine to borrow if I wished it. And when I grow
exhausted, spent from the torment of my life, you sweep me off of my
feet and carry me away to that secret place of dreams and fantasies
where I can rest and forget the darkness. The place where I'm safe.
This is what you were supposed to do. You weren't supposed to walk away from my tears and my anguish as if I meant nothing to you. Or maybe that's exactly what you were trying to tell me.
Posted on 10/13/2007 5:58 PM Comments (0)
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