Get That Hamster Running
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.--Robert Orden
Sex is dirty only when it's done right.--Woody Allen
I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.--Chico Marx
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.--Redd Foxx
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.--Robert Orben
One good thing about being a man is that men don't have to talk to each other.--Peter Cocotas
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.--Timothy Leary
Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.--Unknown
Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.--Unknown
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.--Unknown
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead-not sick, not wounded-dead.--Woody Allen
You can find your way across the country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.--Charles Kuralt
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.--Jose Simon
My toughest fight was with my first wife.--Muhammad Ali
Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.--David Frost
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.--Abba Eban
What luck for rulers that men do not think.--Adolf Hitler
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.--Voltaire
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.--Fran Lebowitz
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.--W.S. Gilbert
