What The Hell's Wrong With Me?

      Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you do not give a damn about?

      Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE WORK for you?

      Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch?

      Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it?

      Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY!

     These are the rules you must follow:

* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.

      * You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the  same day.

      * You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.

      * No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.

     * After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-ass always messing up stuff!"

      * If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!

    Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living daylights out of and get to slapping...and have a great day!

Family:  A group of persons of common ancestry. (As defined by Merriam-Webster)

   So if you share blood that makes you family, right? According to the definition it does. But it's not a 'family' by choice. It's obligatory. You're born into it so you must adhere to it's own set of rules and laws. Much like religion; most people don't choose their own religion, it's 'chosen' for them by parents, guardians or society. It's not a choice. This biological 'rule' of family may work for some but for the most part it becomes something else. Something that can only be defined as 'dysfunctional' later on. People thrown together by choices not their own and forced to get along when the fact of the matter is they may have never socialized in real life if they weren't tied together by blood. Forced to get along and make nice when what they'd really like to do is put as much distance between each other as possible. Or kill one another. Some families don't have stories that end well. Some families do what they must to make it work and they create their own mini democracy. Other families have more of a tyrannical rule going on and others are strictly of the totalitarian persuasion. Must a member of those families be subject to punishment because they choose to believe in something outside of those regimes? Because they choose to look for something more believable than the hypocrisy and bullshit then must they be made to suffer? Is it right that to exercise free will and wish for freedom then one must be made to endure trials that are designed to bring failure and despair down upon said individual? And if they instead succeed then will all be forgiven or will they be made to continuously suffer in some way because they didn't fail?
   Even if one manages to escape such a family then there is no hope of ever being welcomed back into the flock. The audacity of believing that one can survive without the oppressors can never be forgiven nor forgotten. There is no hope. One can only turn towards the sun and put one foot in front of the other. There is nothing back there but darkness. They will never change because they will never admit the blinding truth of their nature. They will always believe that they are right because to admit their wrongs is unthinkable. They would have to own up to their transgressions and that would mean admitting to decades worth of lies to cover up things done. They will never do that.
   But there truly is hope and it is this:  you're free. That's right. They freed you. By giving you the strength to seek something more meaningful they gave you the Golden Key. What it means is simple: you now possess the luxury of choosing your own family. Anyone you want as long as they are honorable, they will never betray you, they will never hurt, they will never lie to you and they will never try to extract payments from you for 'kindnesses' done for you. That luxury is something most will never understand and never have. But I assure you, it is out there. The 'definition' is not always the 'rule.'