October 31, 2007Remember This & Live ItOn life's journey
Faith is nourishment, Virtuous deeds are a shelter, Wisdom is the light by day and Right mindfulness is the protection by night. If a man lives a pure life nothing can destroy him; If he has conquered greed nothing can limit his freedom. Buddha
Posted on 10/31/2007 5:44 PM Comments (1)
October 25, 2007If OnlyKeep inflating those hollowed out dreams And that fractured heart of yours will tumble into pieces Down into that hell you created With the tears of the innocent And the now-corrupted love of the one Who held you in the dark And chased away the Shadows. Swallow the bitterness that is the aftertaste Of pride which has long been digested And absorbed into the sickening cells of your blood To be later drunk by those demons You so willingly worshipped for just a moment That passed all too quickly And your sacrifice that will last an eternity While your soul screams and shrieks Beneath the subbasement of hell. The one you destroyed without a second thought. The one who walked to the ends of the earth on bloody feet. The one who wept silver daggers from her eyes. The one who allowed her soul to be corrupted just to save yours. If only she knew. If only she had been told. If only love hadn't prevented her from seeing the path she was walking. If only she could take it all back. She would still make all the same choices. For him.
Posted on 10/25/2007 6:24 PM Comments (3)
October 22, 2007Support The Parts We All LoveOctober is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Check out this very short article and order a great t-shirt (or two) designed by two high school students.
Posted on 10/22/2007 4:40 PM Comments (0)
October 18, 2007Wow
It's hard to believe that I've had a place here on Buzznet for two years now. Two years this month that I've met some incredible, artistic, honest, loving and lovable people. People who've inspired me and have taken my breath away on so many different occasions. People who've given a damn about my existence. It's just an amazing thing to be part of this wheel and to be able to take small glimpses into other people's worlds. To have the privilege of witnessing their triumphs, losses, dreams and thoughts. It's mind blowing. Thank you all who've made me feel special if only for a moment and those of you who've encouraged and, in some small way, loved me for whatever reason, you will always have a place in my heart. Much love and many, many blessings to you all. Thank you.
Posted on 10/18/2007 4:57 PM Comments (6)
October 15, 2007Read Into It What You Will
I told her to stop crying, the tears will stain. She lifted her head to
look at me and said, "Tears don't stain," as if what I said was just the most stupid thing she'd ever heard of. I told her, "Of course they do. Long after you stop crying, after the redness has left your eyes and your nose is no longer swollen people will know that you cried because of the stains on your cheeks. They'll see the tracks plain as day and they'll pity you. Do you want that? Their pity no matter how well-meaning?" She sniffed and shook her head, her long bangs obscuring her face. She rested her head against my shoulder and I sat there, letting her borrow my strength. Her whole world had recently walked out the door without so much as a "Sorry babe, but you know how it is. It was fun while it lasted, right?" Broken and tired I let her rest while her tears dried and she valiantly tried to choke back her sobs. It was all I could do for her. She was alone in the dark, day after day. I picked her up off the floor, flicked the feral dust bunnies off of her and held her head up for her until she found the strength to carry on without me. And so it has always been for us, the two of us surviving the darkness and the pain. When she was broken I carried her until she mended. When she was alone I told her stories and shared memories of Never Was. And when she was all alone in the dark watching the Shadows cavort across the ceiling I was nearby with a silver dagger in my hand, waiting for one of them to step out of line. And so it has always been and I suspect always will be for as long as she resides in this world she will always have the strength to survive as long as I remain in mine.
Posted on 10/15/2007 6:23 PM Comments (1)
October 13, 2007The Moment Of Truth
You
open your arms and fold me into your embrace. I bury my face into your
chest and cry the jagged bits of my broken heart into your shirt as you
rest your chin on my head. You try to absorb my pain but it's mine to
carry and it's a heavy load. You hold me and say nothing. I weep and
you feel the agony tearing me apart inside. All the pain of my world is
spilling over but you continue to hold me in your arms, letting me know
that your strength is mine to borrow if I wished it. And when I grow
exhausted, spent from the torment of my life, you sweep me off of my
feet and carry me away to that secret place of dreams and fantasies
where I can rest and forget the darkness. The place where I'm safe.
This is what you were supposed to do. You weren't supposed to walk away from my tears and my anguish as if I meant nothing to you. Or maybe that's exactly what you were trying to tell me.
Posted on 10/13/2007 5:58 PM Comments (0)
October 8, 2007Some Memories Burn
Round and round as the crimson and gold leaves scrape and swirl so do her thoughts. She recalls hot hungry kisses, strong arms and eager hands. She can still clearly remember the bright flashes of color (instead of the words and images that make up typical thoughts) that flew through her head, mashing into each other to create a mosaic of erotic beauty. His heart beat so wildly against her own that she was sure that it would kill them both but still she kissed on. To say that their flesh became one would be a tired cliche and a juvenile under statement-their flesh was seared together, burned right through their clothes from the shear heat of their ravenous passion. He touched her as if he were desperately trying to sate his hunger and she clung to him as if her life depended on it. Their need defied the laws of sanity, spat in its' face, really, and still they kept on. Common sense had long fled the room out of fear of its own destruction and all that was left was mad lust, gleefully dancing around the room with its eyes ablaze with the cavernous bonfires of Hell or the pure starlight of Heaven. At this point it didn't matter which one because both amounted to the same end result. They would soon tear each other apart like a drunkenly wild satyr and nymph and what fun that would be! They fed off each other with wild abandon and somehow instantly gave back what they took. Satisfaction was not far off but for the time being they were content with simply feasting off each others bodies until the pleasure became pain and then pleasure again. And when he growled, "I love you," she shattered. In that moment all was lost. She willingly enslaved herself to his soul and did so without a moment's hesitation or regret. He took her with a violence that she needed and he gave her everything he had with an unspoken promise he vowed to keep.
As she sat there atop that sunkissed boulder she watched the crimson and gold leaves dance in a frenzy round and round to music no person can hear but all can feel. She watched and remembered a night long since gone and the kiss that started it all that she never forgot.
Posted on 10/08/2007 10:30 AM Comments (0)
October 2, 2007And So It Is
It's always when you least expect it. When you walk past a storefront
window, when you happen to look down at a puddle or you pass a child's helium balloon and the breeze twists it around just right you catch his reflection. For just that brief moment there's that stab of affection, loss and the love that could've been. You think about those stolen moments between friends. You think about those conversations and the laughs and you wonder if there really was more to it than that. Sometimes, try as you might, you cannot conjure up his face. Not his eyes, not his lips, not even his voice but in those brief moments you catch his reflection and it comes back so fast and so hard it feels as if the very breath at the bottom of your lungs has been punched right out of you. The flash is so bright, the spark so electric that you can't help but believe that the jolt is real. It momentarily stops you in your tracks as the memories, the moments, the breaths are replayed in your mind in an instant. Flashes of vivid color at lightning speed on a white screen. Then it passes. The reflection is gone. The balloon floats away as a child gets lost in his own laughter, the puddle is all ripples and gray and the reflection looking back on the passing world is your own face. The wave of sadness washes over you as you wonder where in the world he has gone to but the sadness is not for the loss of what could've been or never would've been: it's for the knowledge that somewhere out in that faraway world he has forgotten your kiss.
Posted on 10/02/2007 4:58 PM Comments (3)
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