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November 30, 2007

It Can Always Be Better

Then again, it can always be much, much worse so one shouldn't complain. But sometimes it's really hard to remember that.

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Posted on 11/30/2007 8:03 PM Comments (2)

November 24, 2007

He said eternity was too long, that he'd trade forever for a single night with me. What the fuck kind of shit is that? Did he really think that if he phrased it in that way it'd sound 'romantic' or something? As if giving me a glossy version of "let's just fuck and go our separate ways" was going to make me go, "Ok, when, where and how?" You know, I've always said that I prefer the straightforward to the bullshit beating-around-the-bush crap but that's just lazy, juvenile and incredibly stupid. The only kind of woman who would go for that is a hooker and only if she gets her money up front. Even a basic run-of-the-mill whore would insist you buy her a drink first. I mean, c'mon, aren't you supposed to be an adult? Fucking act like it. And you certainly don't have the right to get pissy and run your mouth like a bitch when I tell your disrespectful ass to fuck off. What the hell did you expect me to do, roll my ass over and say have at it? You're fucking stupid and pricks like you need to be castrated. Western civilization could use a few more eunuchs, you can trust me on that. Long story short, he called me a bitch, a cocktease and a wetback whore. So I broke his nose. But only a little. The way he was screaming you'd think I cut the damn thing off. Whiner. Well, the fucking twat stepped over the line. I don't give a damn what I'm called, I've heard it all and most from my own mother but there are two surefire ways to irritate me to violence: call me a whore or refer to me as a mexican. I'm an Asshole and on the rare occasion I can be a Fucking Asshole. I've never been promiscuous, I've never felt the need to be since sex means almost nothing to me but a good way to waste my time on something completely useless and unproductive. I don't have a problem with mexicans in general except for those 30 and 40 year old dirtbags that follow 12 year old girls to and from school (3 or 4 in a single vehicle) and try to get them into the car with them. I speak from personal experience and it wasn't a single occasion. It happened many, many times until I was deemed to old to be of any interest. My issue has always been people mistaking me for mexican and then getting irritated with ME because I don't speak spanish, as if I sold out or something. What the hell is that about? I tell them I'm Native and they accuse me of lying as if I'd be ashamed to be something other than what I am. Most people think I'm mexican and I have no problem with that, it bothers me when they insist I am or give me an attitude because I correct them. I'm highly proud of my heritage, I have nothing to be ashamed of and I won't pretend to be something I'm not just to get along with other people. If others have a problem guess what? It's their problem. I don't spend my life giving a fuck what other people think of me. Why should I? What makes anyone else important enough for me to be worried about what they think of me? So that cunt called me a wetback whore and I broke his nose. So what'd he say next? "Crazy bitch." Of course, the fucker antagonizes and disrespects me and when I establish my dominance and stand up for myself I'm not considered a strong woman who doesn't take shit from anyone, I'm a "crazy bitch." And THIS is what's out there in the 'dating world?' Hell, I wasn't even trying to hook up with anyone, I was just trying to enjoy my drink and have a good time with my friends in what I assumed was a safe setting and he came over and started shit with me. He started it, I finished it. And that's where the problem lies. He was the one lying flat on his back and bleeding, not me.
So what was the point of this post? It's going to depend on how you choose to interpret it. If you choose to at all.
To be continued. Perhaps.

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Posted on 11/24/2007 6:12 PM Comments (3)

November 21, 2007

A Few Good Laughs

Is sex better than drugs? It depends on the pusher.
Unknown

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
Woody Allen

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
Lewis Grizzard

It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point.
Will Durst

Some are born to greatness, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust within them.
Hal Lee Luyah

Warning signs that your lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, left no forwarding address.
Matt Groening

It is a gentleman's first duty to remember in the morning who it was he took to bed with him.
Dorothy L. Sayers

I would never go to bed with a man who had so little regard for my husband.
From a novel by Dan Greenburg

After making love I said to the girl, "Was it good for you, too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."
Garry Shandling

In sex as in banking there is a penalty for early withdrawal.
Cynthia Nelms

Sex after ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns

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Posted on 11/21/2007 2:58 PM Comments (3)

November 17, 2007

Get That Hamster Running

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.--Robert Orden

Sex is dirty only when it's done right.--Woody Allen

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.--Chico Marx

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.--Redd Foxx

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.--Robert Orben

One good thing about being a man is that men don't have to talk to each other.--Peter Cocotas

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.--Timothy Leary

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.--Unknown

Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.--Unknown

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.--Unknown

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead-not sick, not wounded-dead.--Woody Allen

You can find your way across the country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.--Charles Kuralt

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.--Jose Simon

My toughest fight was with my first wife.--Muhammad Ali

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.--David Frost

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.--Abba Eban

What luck for rulers that men do not think.--Adolf Hitler

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.--Voltaire

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.--Fran Lebowitz

No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.--W.S. Gilbert

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Posted on 11/17/2007 7:09 PM Comments (4)

November 5, 2007

Want To Know What Irritates Me?

Knowing that the time I spent watching Planet Terror can never be refunded.
*sigh* Suuuuuuuuuuuuucked!!!! Seriously, save your money. Rose McGowan
doesn't even really get naked. No really, that might've saved the movie. For about a minute. It was so awful I actually sat there on my couch in mental anguish because it sucked that badly. And my dumb ass kept on watching, hoping that it would get better. It didn't. If you haven't seen it yet, save your money. Trust me on this.

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Posted on 11/05/2007 5:40 PM Comments (5)