February 11, 2008

Patron Saint Of Assholes & Frisbees

She said God sent me to her because He knew she'd need me. I agreed to clean her house, write out checks, babysit her two children during her appointments (like this Friday), run errands, check on her best friend (my 84 year-old neighbor) from time to time (because her own children don't) and whatever else she may need. I told her it was no problem and she insisted on paying me. I would've done it for free. I mean, it's not like she broke her leg or anything. The woman had her chest cracked a few weeks ago so that doctors could do 5 bypasses (which I've never heard of) and she's only been home for about a week now with another 6 months of recovery ahead of her. As if that weren't bad enough they had to open her up again shortly after the surgery because she was bleeding internally and they couldn't tell where it was coming from. But they got it all sorted out and she's fine now (or as fine as one can be after having their breastbone sawed and spread apart. *shudder*) with minimal discomfort. She can't do a whole lot of anything without getting winded and I noticed today that she gets short of breath just talking. So I agreed to help her out when and where I could. She's a great lady and she's got her hands full with an epileptic daughter, a mildly autistic son and a husband who's on the road driving truck 5-6 days a week. She teared up when she told me that God had sent me to her. All I could do was smile and hope she didn't see the bewilderment in my eyes because I was at a loss as to what to say. How do you respond to that? Do you just nod and say, "Yep, the old codger finally go SOMETHING right." Could just be me but that sounds a bit assholey. A little while after I left I got teased about it. "What are you, like the Fairview Patron Saint Of The Sick And Elderly? You're going to spend your days running around rescuing and helping sick and hurt puppies now? Well, maybe not animals, they don't seem to like your satanic ass." I had to wonder just how big an asshole I've become that helping out a neighbor (one who didn't irritate me) would become kind of a joke to others around me. But then I had to think: well, if I weren't as big an asshole as I am then who knows how many dirtbags would be going out of their way to take advantage of my goodwill. My natural-born and well-cultivated attitude (problem) automatically weeds out all those lazy bastards and then enables me to help out those who really need it. So being an asshole really isn't such a bad thing. To me. It's a bad thing to those who make it on The List, though.
   To be continued...
Posted on 02/11/2008 2:01 PM Comments (0)
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